“The psychological
quirks that make it tricky to get an accurate read on someone’s emotions”
By: Emily Esfahani
Smith
Published: April 23, 2015; The Atlantic; http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/mixed-signals-why-people-misunderstand-each-other/391053/
Level of difficulty: **
BEFORE YOU READ
·
Watch the following video carefully: “Facial
Expression Tutorial by Khappucino”
·
Now
listen to the following talk and take notes:
QUESTIONS
1. Read
as far as “To Halverson”. What conclusion did Tim draw from this incident?
·
I am not getting across to them as well as I
thought I was
·
How awful they have been thinking I am a jerk
·
They must think I am terribly bad tempered
·
They must think I am completely unapproachable
·
All of the above
·
None of the above
·
Other: please specify
2. What
conclusion did Tim’s team draw from the same incident?
·
He can pretend all he likes; we know his type
·
Maybe he is not as bad as we thought; this could
work
·
Active listening my foot; he is a bad tempered
old sod
·
He needs to get out more and learn about facial
expressions
·
All of the above
·
None of the above
·
Other: please specify
3. What
conclusion can we draw from the additional examples provided in the text? Circle the adjective(s) that won’t fit
according to the text. Complete
misunderstanding of another person’s intention in saying or doing something
is quite infrequent/quite common /
relatively widespread / universal / exceptional
4. All
the examples studied so far prove that………………………………………………………………………………
5. Read
the section on the transparency gap and decide whether the following
conclusions are true or false according to the text:
·
We shouldn’t blame others for not seeing us for
what we are
·
If people choose not to understand that is their
own fault
·
We should express ourselves clearly and not
expect people to read our minds
·
If we want people to understand us we should
help them to
·
Hiding your feelings and expecting people to
read your mind is stupid
6. The
main reason why people misread other people is the fact that …………………………………………
7. A
staff member is confused and flustered on his first few days on a new job. Mark True or False
·
This impression will be remedied as soon as he
performs better
·
This impression may prevent his future promotion
·
This impression may affect the amount of responsibility
he gets given
·
People will understand that he didn’t know the
job and revise their opinion at once
8. What
would happen if the above staff member consistently received a lot of praise
from clients?
9. Why
are people loath to resort to system 2 thinking?
10. What
is the ultimate result of sticking to system 1 thinking?
11. Read
Dan Gilbert’s experiment to the end. When the subjects were allowed to move on
from their first impression, they labeled / didn’t label the subject as an
anxious person.
12. In the same experiment preoccupation seemed to
prevent the subject from reaching the correct result / encourage the subject to
reach the correct result. The conclusion we can draw is that in order to
accurately assess a situation it is enough to form an impression / it is
necessary to focus. The rule of thumb is that first impressions are
always wrong / can be wrong / are never wrong.
13. A person with high self esteem is likely to
judge another person…………………………………….because …………………………………………………………………………………………….
14. What
conclusion can we draw from the 1998 study published in “Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin”?
15. Sending
clear signals comes with an additional bonus:
WRITING TASK
Use
the text and the videos you have watched to discuss the reasons why we often misunderstand each other. Although you
will need to use what you learnt in the text, you must use your own words and
your own examples while completing the task.
In your introduction: discuss the
transparency illusion
In your development: discuss the
reasons:
·
People are cognitive misers or lazy thinkers
·
Perception is influenced by the perceiver’s
experiences, emotions and biases
In your conclusion: suggest solutions;
use the text and your own experience
MIXED SIGNALS: WHY
PEOPLE MISUNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
This task comes with
some interesting videos and a writing task so it is all inclusive. The text
should be appealing in terms of content and lead to lively discussions.
Hopefully the lesson will be productive and enjoyable.
1.
All of the above
2. Other:
2 and 4
3. Quite
infrequent, exceptional
4. There
is a gap between how other people see us and how we see ourselves.
5. Only
the second one is false
6. They
are lazy thinkers.
7. F,
T, T, F
8. The
boss can engage in system 2 thinking and update his impression of the member of
staff.
9. It
demands a lot of effort and mental energy
10. Speed
is traded off for accuracy in thinking about others.
11. They
didn’t label the subject as an anxious person
12. Prevent
the subject from reaching the correct result; it is necessary to focus; can be
wrong
13. Less
harshly or more favorably; his sense of himself or herself isn’t threatened.
14. If
you want to solve the problem of perception, it is much more practical for you
to decide to be a good sender of signals than to hope that the perceiver is
going to go into phase 2 of perception.
15. Such
people are ultimately happier and more satisfied with their relationships,
careers and lives.
